Advocating for Your Child When They Don’t Like School

Advocating for Your Child When They Don’t Like School

Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting
You are your child’s best advocate. I’m frustrated and sad for my daughter. Recently, when asked what she liked best about school she thought for a moment and replied, “Nothing, really.” That’s right, nothing. Not even lunch or recess. Nothing. Mondays are the worst. She always complains of a stomachache and sore throat. Most of the time I’m pretty even keeled. I meditate often. I practice being non-judgmental and unattached. But when it comes to my daughter’s experience in school, all bets are off. Now that I practice mindfulness, I can feel the anxiety as it takes over. I become slightly crazed. (I’m sure my husband would disagree with the qualifier.) And to be honest, when I’m anxious and crazed, I’m not at my best. (Kindergarten Turned Me into a…
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The Important Question to Ask After Yelling

The Important Question to Ask After Yelling

Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Tweens 10-12 years
We are walking up the stairs to school. It’s been a difficult morning. I am feeling drained by the need to repeat myself over and over. The feeling that I’m doing everything for everyone. That no one else in the family is doing their share and once again I am over functioning for all of us. I am drained the fact that we are late. Again. As we walk up the stairs, I say to my daughter, “Hey, this morning really didn’t work for me. I don’t like it when I’m yelling at you. And I don’t like it when you are yelling at me.” Mumbled agreement from my daughter. I continue, “I need something different to happen tomorrow.” It would be nice if we had time to talk about…
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Why Problem Solving Wins over Fixing Behavior

Why Problem Solving Wins over Fixing Behavior

Kids 5 - 12 years
Let’s think about the challenging moments of parenting. You know, the frustrating moments that make you wonder why you ever had kids in the first place. Here is an example: For the past few weeks we have been having daily battles over socks. Yes. Socks. My 5 year-old daughter whines and complains that she “hates wearing socks.” It’s winter time here. The ground is covered with snow and ice. Not only is she boycotting socks, if left to her own devices, she would only wear sandals. Yet...It’s not my daughter that needs to be fixed. Not wearing socks is the problem I want to fix.   Problem Solving vs. Fixing the Behavior Turning frustration into deeper connection. How do you define the problem in these moments? Sometime I think about…
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Making A Win-Win Parenting Plan

Making A Win-Win Parenting Plan

Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
How to Create A Plan to Help Children Overcome Unwanted Behavior  Often parents ask me how to stop frustrating behavior. “My daughter follows me around the house and talks incessantly.” “My toddler won’t stay in his bed at night.” “My child’s tantrums are driving me crazy.” One way to think about ongoing annoying behavior is that it’s really a signal from our kids that their needs aren’t being met. Because we want to give our children what they need, this means that our needs are being threatened too. Think about it. For the mother of the chatty tween, what she really wants is a little bit of peace and quiet for herself. The toddler who won’t stay in bed? Chances are the parents need more sleep. And the tantrums? There are…
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