Why Preschoolers Know Much Better Than They Behave

Why Preschoolers Know Much Better Than They Behave

Alternatives to Punishment, Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
Parents are routinely confused when their preschooler (aged 2 to 5) promises they won’t hit or scream only to turn around and hit or scream again. Part of the problem is young children don’t think twice nor contemplate the consequences of their actions in the heat of the moment. I can assure you this is not part of a secret plot to drive parents crazy and it isn’t personal either. Preschoolers know much better than they can behave and are impulsive by design. The parts of the brain responsible for self-control are still under development in young children. The brain is only 20% developed at birth and will ideally become more integrated in the first 6 years of life. In other words, the brain is still forming connections that will…
Read More
Three Tips For Getting Kids Ready and Out the Door Struggle Free

Three Tips For Getting Kids Ready and Out the Door Struggle Free

Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Tweens 10-12 years
Do mornings at your house look like a scene from a stressful Groundhog's day video?  The same level of stress, the same rushing, and the same power struggles with your children day in and day out?  If it does, you are not alone!  One of the biggest challenges modern families seems to face is getting everyone out the door in the morning.  Of course it is physically easy to accomplish, but the biggest complaint I hear from the families I work with is that it is a constant struggle and can feel combative.  So what can you do? Three Tips for Getting Kids To Feel Cooperative and Capable in the Morning 1. Create and Keep a Routine Your Kid Will Want to Follow  In order to simplify, start by creating…
Read More
8 Proven Ways That Teach Children To Respect Safety Rules

8 Proven Ways That Teach Children To Respect Safety Rules

Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Tweens 10-12 years
Have you ever told your children not to hide in a clothing store, not to touch dangerous things, or not to run in the parking lot? Have you had to say it more than once, only to find that they repeat the same behavior three minutes later? Why is this happening? Prohibition (like saying DON'T) is the most popular disciplinary short-cut in teaching kids about safety. It's an automatic response to stop the unwanted behavior. On the other hand, prohibition by itself works only temporarily. It does not address the root causes of the unwanted behavior. Kids’ natural curiosity washes out your rules like a high tide. Here are 8 proven ways to teach children to follow safety rules Step 1: Strive to establish an "I'm good" mindset. You need…
Read More
Positive Parenting: Six Tips for Channeling Calm So You Don’t Yell at Your Kids

Positive Parenting: Six Tips for Channeling Calm So You Don’t Yell at Your Kids

Parenting
Anger and yelling are both issues that often come bubbling up to the surface in parenting as sleep deprivation, stress, exhaustion, and a hundred tiny frustrations through the day all mix together. Nothing forces us face down our demons quite like becoming a parent. Everything that you are, good and bad, will be reflected in those little eyes staring up at you. Getting control of our anger is important work. Studies show that yelling at kids can be just as harmful as physical discipline. Harsh verbal discipline increases a child’s risk for depression and aggressive behavior, and the damage isn’t just done to our kids. It hurts us, too. It damages our relationships and our own self-esteem, and because it frequently leads to actions we regret (yelling, saying hurtful words,…
Read More
Teaching Children Respect

Teaching Children Respect

Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Teens 13-18 Years, Tweens 10-12 years
"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them." - James Baldwin Children are mirrors; they reflect back to us everything we say and do. We now know that 95% of everything children learn, they learn from what is modeled for them. Only 5% of all they learn is from direct instruction. Human beings are like tape recorders. Every word we hear, everything we experience, is permanently recorded in our subconscious. Whenever adults speak, we are being role models for the children in our presence. What we speak is what we teach. Children record every word we ever say to them or in front of them. The language children grow up hearing is the language they will speak. We often…
Read More
Dance Break: An Awesome Alternative to Time-Out

Dance Break: An Awesome Alternative to Time-Out

Alternatives to Punishment, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
Adults teach children in three important ways: The first is by example, the second is by example, the third is by example.~Albert Schweitzer A few weeks ago, we discovered something at our house that has allowed us to diffuse a number of melt-downs. Just when we see one of the kids or ourselves start to lose it, we cry “Dance Break!” We take all the kids to the kitchen, crank up the stereo and rock out. It is amazing how much better we all feel after a dance break. We all are a little winded, and have forgotten why we were so upset in the first place. Depending on the time of day it can be helpful to get them to sleep too! I’ve been battling insomnia lately, but after…
Read More
The Night Before Christmas for Moms

The Night Before Christmas for Moms

Parenting
It was the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode only one creature was stirring, and she was cleaning the commode. The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds, while visions of Ernie and Barbie flipped through their heads. The dad was snoring in front of the TV, with a half-constructed bicycle on his knee. So only the mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter, which made her sigh, "Now what's the matter?" With toilet bowl brush still clutched in her hand, she descended the stairs, and saw the old man. He was covered with ashes and soot, which fell with a shrug. "Oh great," muttered the mom, "Now I have to clean the rug." "Ho-ho-ho!" cried Santa, "I'm glad you're awake." "Your gift was especially difficult to make."…
Read More
Discipline: Teaching Through Love Instead of Fear

Discipline: Teaching Through Love Instead of Fear

Family Communication, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting
"However we treat the child, the child will treat the world." - Pam Leo Can you imagine threatening your partner or good friend by counting "One... two... three..." if he or she did not do what you wanted? One of the big issues in schools today is "bullying." Parents and teachers struggle daily with how to stop this behavior. Without realizing it, adults teach bullying behavior to children by modeling it when they use the threat of their physical size or power to make children do things. When I hear a parent counting "One... two" at a young child, I always wonder what the child has been told will happen if the parent gets to three. Is it the threat of a spanking, being yelled at, time out, abandonment (I'm…
Read More
A Positive Parent’s Guide to Introducing a New Baby to Your Toddler

A Positive Parent’s Guide to Introducing a New Baby to Your Toddler

Babies 0-12 months, Toddlers 12- 36 months
It’s something you’ve been looking forward to with a lot of excitement. And yes, an equal amount of anxiety. Introducing your new baby to your toddler. You know from experience that the first few months of having a baby are the hardest. And yet,  you are committed to not neglect your older child in the process and do your best to help him fall in love with the little one. But, you have concerns... How to balance the demands on your time to ensure that you can fill your older child’s bucket with attention while attending to the needs of the newborn? How to ensure that your own weariness does not seep into the tentative relationship that is budding between your little angels? What can you do to tip the…
Read More

Dealing with the Feeling: How to Calm Your Child and Yourself

Parenting
Guest Contributor Roma Khetarpal, Author of The “Perfect” Parent, 5 Tools for Using Your Inner Perfection to Connect with Your Kids. Morning tantrums, power struggles, bad behavior, homework not turned in, sibling fights, bedtime negotiations…does it ever end? Welcome to parenting, day in day out! How can I possibly stay positive and tuned in through all of this? is a question that parents ask me all the time. Communication Balance The key for parents is to turn the above-mentioned communication breakdowns into communication breakthroughs. How do you do that? In order to answer that, let’s explore the three main elements of communication: Thought + Feelings --> Expressions What we say and do is fired up by our thoughts and feelings. In order to enhance communication, our thoughts and feelings should…
Read More