The Most Powerful And Punishment Free Way To Better Behavior

The Most Powerful And Punishment Free Way To Better Behavior

Alternatives to Punishment, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Positive Discipline, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Discipline that teaches your child's heart and mind at the same time. When my son was four years old, he was sweet, funny and quite mischievous. Just a moment unsupervised and something was likely to get opened, spilled or broken. Most days my son was content to play with his toys, in the garden or to make an art project. Other days, it seemed like he was set on pushing every boundary and breaking every rule. If you have a young and energetic child at home I'm sure you know what this is like. One time, I found him in the bathroom with several open containers of shampoo and soap. The shower doors completely white with suds. "Beau-full" art he told me very excited. Another time he cracked open magic…
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What You Need To Know To Navigate Tantrums Beyond Toddlerhood

What You Need To Know To Navigate Tantrums Beyond Toddlerhood

Alternatives to Punishment, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
People expect tantrums to disappear after the toddler years, but that's just not how it works. Have you ever seen an adult screaming about something meaningless?!?!? Big kid tantrum! Tantrums for older kids are often wrapped up in unspoken fear, frustration, sadness, or anxiety explains Katie Hurley, child and adolescent psychotherapist and author of "The Happy Kid Handbook." Has your four, five, six or even ten year old ever melted down into a pile of tears or flung into a fit of rage? Do you occasionally have to deal with anger, fits of screaming, kicking or door slamming? Ever wonder if Tantrums Past the Age of Three Normal? Many parents worry about tantrums and big emotional outbursts past toddler-hood. You may have asked yourself if tantrums after the age of three are even normal. Or you may…
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Rethinking Consequences: 3 Steps that Help Children Change Unacceptable Behaviors

Rethinking Consequences: 3 Steps that Help Children Change Unacceptable Behaviors

Alternatives to Punishment, Help By Age & Stage
There were jeans and inside out t-shirts scattered between legos and nerf darts. It was almost the end of the day and my son hadn't picked up his room. I had asked earlier (probably more than once!) As I walked through the house looking for my son I thought to myself..If he is on his tablet, I am so taking it away for a week!!! I noticed I was really tense and annoyed and took a few breaths to calm down. That's when  I spotted him on the couch with his sister giggling up a storm. "I noticed your room isn't ready yet. Did you have a plan for getting it done as we agreed?" "Oh...big ooops mom. You asked me and  I didn't do it. I can do it now,…
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How To Stop Toddler Defiance with Positive Guidance

How To Stop Toddler Defiance with Positive Guidance

Alternatives to Punishment, Parenting, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Defiant toddlers are often mislabeled as having a behavior problem.  In most cases, toddler defiance is actually just a sign of healthy development. Toddlers that like to say NO and “put their foot down” are not only developing well, they are actively exploring their emotional intelligence. Positive guidance can help toddlers grow well and thrive.  Mauren Healy, author and expert on highly sensitive children says “The act of defiance is displaying an inordinately high level of emotional intelligence --- your children are actually listening to their inner wisdom.” Toddler defiance is usually age appropriate and at the same time very challenging. "Gena is constantly climbing on our garden rocks. No matter how much I say no, put her in time out or explain she is going to get hurt, the next day, I find…
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How to Discipline Through Connection Using Your Child’s Love Language

How to Discipline Through Connection Using Your Child’s Love Language

Alternatives to Punishment, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
My arms were still sore from scrubbing the dark streaks of marker my toddler had happily scribbled, off our porous pine dining table. I turned toward my oldest daughter. “I just told you not to leave your special (read; nonwashable) markers out where your little brother can reach them!” Had I been talking to a brick wall? I knew I had indeed been lecturing my very own blue-eyed spirited little girl, as she had reminded me with intermittent wiggles and rebuttals throughout. I had in fact been speaking to her, but I was not speaking in her language, or in a way she would best connect with and process. What was missing Often parents mistakenly employ ‘one size fits all’ parenting strategies, whether they be the same techniques our own…
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Positive Parenting: Better Behavior Without Punishment Is Possible

Positive Parenting: Better Behavior Without Punishment Is Possible

Alternatives to Punishment, Family Communication, Parenting, Positive Discipline
A few years ago, my 3 year old daughter ripped her brothers' picture. She did it on purpose and with the intent to get back at her brother. Many parents believe that such "acting out"  needs to be managed with swift discipline. A punishment like time out or some kind of consequence to teach a lesson. In the moments when I feel my buttons getting pushed, sometimes I fall into thinking about that too.  I've seen over the years with my children and working with so many families that such measures simply don't help children behave better. But there positive strategies that do. Instead of putting my daughter into time out, we did something else.  Control and disconnected consequences tend to make a child's behavior worse. Because children don't respond positively to…
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Why Preschoolers Know Much Better Than They Behave

Why Preschoolers Know Much Better Than They Behave

Alternatives to Punishment, Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
Parents are routinely confused when their preschooler (aged 2 to 5) promises they won’t hit or scream only to turn around and hit or scream again. Part of the problem is young children don’t think twice nor contemplate the consequences of their actions in the heat of the moment. I can assure you this is not part of a secret plot to drive parents crazy and it isn’t personal either. Preschoolers know much better than they can behave and are impulsive by design. The parts of the brain responsible for self-control are still under development in young children. The brain is only 20% developed at birth and will ideally become more integrated in the first 6 years of life. In other words, the brain is still forming connections that will…
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Six Super Helpful Ways To Keep Calm and Deal With Defiance

Six Super Helpful Ways To Keep Calm and Deal With Defiance

Alternatives to Punishment, Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
These Six Positive Parenting strategies can help you respond to your child when they are behaving in defiant, disrespectful or unhelpful ways. Children often act out when they are lost, fearful and in need of guidance. A child that is being defiant needs to reconnect with you and find his way back to calm. And until you can step in and help, the acting out will continue. Not because your child is bad, but because your child is still learning and growing. That being said, it can be difficult to respond in a calm, confident way. Misbehavior can push parental buttons and ring alarm bells in our minds. A calm, helpful response even to the worst misbehavior helps children trust our guidance. The following parenting practices can help you respond in…
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Why Positive Discipline is The Best Discipline for Your Baby

Why Positive Discipline is The Best Discipline for Your Baby

Alternatives to Punishment, Babies 0-12 months, Parenting
How To Discipline Your Baby In A Positive Way Responding positively to your baby teaches him to trust you and your guidance. While babies are growing they may do certain things, like spitting, hitting or kicking when upset, throwing food down from a high chair or taking a toy away from a playmate. These behaviors call for your clear, respectful guidance.  To discipline in a way that is effective and helpful to your growing baby (toddler) focus on teaching and guidance. Help your baby trust you and feel safe following your requests. A recent study at the University of Michigan has noted that spanking babies is a common, yet very misguided attempt at disciplining babies. Around 30 percent of one year old babies are being spanked at least once a month…
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Positive Discipline for Disruptive Classroom Behavior

Positive Discipline for Disruptive Classroom Behavior

Alternatives to Punishment, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Positive Discipline
Positive Discipline at Home & School for Turning Disruptive Behavior Around Do you have any suggestions for a child who may be seeking the attention of his classmates? He is being disruptive in class trying to get other children to pay attention to him. He is an only child and due to work, we don’t get many play dates with other children. He gets plenty of attention at home as well as time to play alone. At school he is constantly wanting someone to look at him or laugh at him or talk to him. Attention Seeking = Connection Seeking One guess is that your child really seeks connection with his classmates, but mistakenly thinks that attention is what he needs. Several strategies will help him, but realize that it may…
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