40 Questions That Get Kids Talking

40 Questions That Get Kids Talking

Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
One great way to encourage children to open up is to make a habit of cherishing daily conversations with your child. Conversations build connection. When children feel connected to their parent, they are more likely to feel well and be cooperative. When we pause and listen, we can really get to know so much about our children. Sometimes our children don’t readily open up and share about their day. It can be frustrating when all you want is to talk to your child and you are met with a frown and heavy sighs...Ever felt like you don't know what to ask to get a child to open up? Most parents really do want to know about their child's thoughts, dreams and concerns.To raise resilient, happy children, It's important to listen to our…
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The Very Important Reason Children Need To Learn To Stand Up To Bullies

The Very Important Reason Children Need To Learn To Stand Up To Bullies

Family Communication, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting
At the playground on a sunny afternoon, my six year old son was waiting for a turn on the slide. Ahead of him was a little girl, no older than three, fiercely determined to get up all by herself. While she struggled a bit the other children waited patiently. Except for the last boy in line. After groaning and shouting out some mean words, that last boy got out of the line and shoved my son to the side. Then the boy started reaching and tugging at the little girls legs and calling her a "stinky baby." Stop that right now! I heard as I walked over. Stop. I want you to stop hurting her. My son stood calmly but confidently in place looking right at the boy. The other children…
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How I Helped My Son Understand His Misbehavior Without Relying on Punishments

How I Helped My Son Understand His Misbehavior Without Relying on Punishments

Alternatives to Punishment, Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
When my son was four,  I took him on a day trip to sled and play in the snow.  It was a beautiful cold yet sunny day.  Up on a mountain,  with the alps in the background we climbed up and sled down a hill some 25 times in a row. When I was a feeling cold and tired, I let my son know I would be sitting down for a break. Within seconds I felt a sharp,  freezing blow to my face. My eye hurt terribly. There was a strange mixture of cold and burning pain going on and I was totally dazed. As I processed what had happened,  I came to understand that my son had thrown a chunk of snow covered ice right into my face. Except he…
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Your Blueprint for Transforming Yelling into Cooperation

Your Blueprint for Transforming Yelling into Cooperation

Family Communication, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Positive Discipline
How to Put Positive Discipline Tools into Action and Encourage Your Child to Listen “He never listens to me!” “I have to tell him 10 times!” “She’ll only pay attention if I yell!” How many of you have ever felt this way? Chances are that nearly all of us have felt irritated by our child’s inability to listen and follow through with simple requests at one time or another. Years ago, my child was soooooo adept at ignoring my requests that I actually took him to the ear doctor. His ears were fine. My parenting needed some fine-tuning, however. What I learned was that my shouting from across the house or lecturing about why my request was perfectly reasonable, and why was it so hard to listen and follow through with such simple…
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Help Your Child With After School Meltdowns

Help Your Child With After School Meltdowns

Alternatives to Punishment, Family Communication, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Tweens 10-12 years
After school meltdowns are quite normal for children from preschool to middle school. Here is what you need to know to handle these after school meltdowns and help your child feel better again. Children can experience quite the emotional ups and downs while away from you.  Maybe a  classmate didn’t want to share a toy,  an assignment felt just a bit more challenging than expected and recess was way to short.  Your child puts on a brave face, deals with it all and keeps on trekking through the day. Then...when they get home all those feelings they managed to hold on to just spill right out. Everything is Stupid, Annoying or Just not Right... Has your child ever come home from school and started complaining? Everything is stupid or the smallest little…
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Essentials for Creating a Calming Kit for Kids

Essentials for Creating a Calming Kit for Kids

Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
“Got anything I can smash around here?” asked my daughter with a crinkly face and closed fists. “I’m bursting with anger!! It’s about the boys you know!! UGH!! I want to smash them you hear me MAMA??!! SMASH THEM. But I walked away! I’m taking a breather! I can’t believe them. Can you? I mean...ugh!!!….” she went on. Then, as  if on auto-pilot, my daughter climbed into my lap. She buried her face into my shoulder and as some big tears streamed, all the tension and anger began to ease up and out of her tiny 5 year old frame. Soon we got up, walked to our calm down basket and picked up a tinker toy. As she held the toy she added angrily,  “It’s so hard to have brothers somedays.…
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How To Be An Encouraging Parent

How To Be An Encouraging Parent

Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Tweens 10-12 years
One of my favorite parenting tools, and one of the pillars of parenting with Positive Discipline, is encouragement. “Treat a man (or child) as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man (or child) as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.” - Steven R Covey Encouragement: Holding the Container To me, encouragement is holding space for others to discovery, explore and show up as their best versions of themselves. “Holding space” is the way that we show up in the relationship, how we sit, how we listen, how we respond. We are always “holding space” – just some of the time we are more intentional about it than others… I love what one of my class participants…
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Why Choosing Positive Guidance over Punishment Helps Reduce Attention Seeking and Other Unhelpful Behaviors

Why Choosing Positive Guidance over Punishment Helps Reduce Attention Seeking and Other Unhelpful Behaviors

Alternatives to Punishment, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Parenting Solutions
Children often seek attention in mistaken ways. When you offer guidance, you can help your child feel connected, understood and ready to make better choices. As children grow they become very skilled at figuring out really clever ways to get adults to pay attention to them. Sometimes the requests for attention are cute and wonderful. Does your child like making funny faces, telling you a joke, giving you sweet hugs and smiles? This kind of attention and connection seeking is just wonderful right? Other times, children seek attention in not so wonderful ways. Some typically unhelpful attention seeking behaviors are: Whining, crying, tantrums, back talk, defiance, and aggression. These are all very unhelpful and typically thought of as misbehavior. These are also ways in which children mistakenly work towards getting the…
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Encouraging Better Behavior When Your Child Acts Out

Encouraging Better Behavior When Your Child Acts Out

Alternatives to Punishment, Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Positive Discipline
How to help a child who is acting out by setting clear, kind limits and offering positive guidance.  Walking out of school, I noticed my son had an envelope in his hand. As he handed it to me with a shy but determined smile he said: “Mom, this is for you. I wrote you an an apology letter. I was so angry and I am really, really sorry for what I said this morning.” Just a few hours earlier we had had an unusually challenging morning. Where normally everyone follows a routine, we chat over breakfast and get ready for school and work without much fuss, this morning was so different. It was tense and so very trying. There was eye rolling, frowns and demands. It all culminated in an ugly, disconnected…
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Helping Your Toddler Manage Anger and Aggression

Helping Your Toddler Manage Anger and Aggression

Alternatives to Punishment, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
On a sunny, beautiful morning, Mariah was on the floor, in a pile of tears. Her little hands stretched wide reaching desperately for Jenny. More accurately, reaching for the apple and egg in Jenny’s hands. Because for Mariah, in that moment, only those two play food items were the right ones. All other toys in our beautifully stocked play area we're just not what Mariah wanted. Mariah was so upset by this situation, she had resorted to crying and flailing her legs. Jenny was not phased by the tears. Soon Mariah stood up, walked over to Jenny and tried to kick her. Mariah and Jenny are three and four years old. Playgroup isn’t always easy for them. Mariah in particular tends to get angry quickly when things don’t go exactly…
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