3 Examples of Moving From Compliance to Cooperation

3 Examples of Moving From Compliance to Cooperation

Alternatives to Punishment, Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Parenting Solutions
Using compliance as a parenting strategy commonly involves conflicts, power struggles and threats of losing a privilege, punishment or bribery.  Many parents want and expect compliance because they are the parent or “things need to get done” or “time is of the essence” or safety is a concern. However, compliance often comes at the expense of self worth and it may also dent the loving connection which is the core of the parent child relationship. So how can we encourage children to ultimately want to do what needs to be done? How can we foster a positive, can do attitude in our children? I believe a huge factor here is moving from compliance towards cooperation. With my three children, I have been really practicing fostering cooperation and I have to…
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Control Your Child! Oh Wait, How did you do that?!?

Control Your Child! Oh Wait, How did you do that?!?

Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years
I was at the store recently, doing groceries at the end of a long day. Our dog had died the day before and the kids had come down with a cold. I was feeling sad, grief struck, tired and really all I wanted to do was buy some food, get home and let the kids get back to feeling whatever they needed to be feeling about loosing our beloved family dog.  Anyways,  at the cashier, as I searched for my wallet which had disappeared under a pile of little horses,  playmobil dudes, tear filled tissues and snacks, a voice thundered into my ear "Control your child WOMAN!" I looked up, behind me was an elderly man with a frown strong enough to break a wall and ahead of me I saw my curly headed,…
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The Power of Pause

The Power of Pause

Family Communication, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting
Transforming Relationships One Pause at a Time My eldest daughter has been a great teacher for me—I like to refer to her as my “practice child,” for her younger sister has reaped the benefits of all that I?ve learned from her. My greatest lesson? The power of pause. It seems to me this is the baseline for growing positive, respectful, all around healthy relationships with our children…and it took my child to bring it to my attention. I admit, I am still working on on developing this skill—it is difficult, and the results can be amazing—often transformational. As Emily entered the teen years, our altercations ramped up. One particular time stands out as a turning point in my awareness of the value of pausing. Emily wanted something and I was…
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15 Positive Strategies for Dealing with Conflicts, Arguments & Back Talk

Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Positive Discipline
Have you ever had a conversation a bit like this? "Can I have that toy?" "Not today." "But’s it’s my favorite kind." "I said NO." "Why???" "Because I said SO!" "Ugh, but... I waaaaaaaaaaaaant it!" "Please don't argue." "But I REALLY want it." "If you don't stop arguing, you are not getting any sweets tomorrow at all." "Oh YEAH? What's the difference? I never get what I want." "Okay. That’s it…no sweets tomorrow. It’s time to leave, let's  go.” "UGH!!!! I hate you!" Conflict between parents and children happens in every household. If you haven’t argued about a toy, perhaps you have about a sleep over, more dessert, getting dressed, doing homework, getting more allowance, eating veggies, going to a party and so on… The “because I said so” and…
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Help! My Kid is Driving Me Crazy!

Help! My Kid is Driving Me Crazy!

Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
Child...."You drive me crazy!"   "You are such a brat!"   "You never listen to me!" Do you ever catch yourself thinking or saying things like that about your child? Do you struggle to gain control of your interactions, wishing, hoping, pleading that things just go smooth for once? Maybe it's not all the time, just occasionally but even then you feel things are JUST not WORKING!!! Here is the thing:  Are these thoughts  really true or just how things seem in THAT moment? Is your child "driving you crazy" or do you have a million and one things on your mind? Is your child a "BRAT" or having a really tough time with something, maybe they are tired, hungry, getting sick, or needing to reconnect, take a breather etc...? Are…
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7 Ideas to Prevent After School Meltdowns

7 Ideas to Prevent After School Meltdowns

Alternatives to Punishment, Family Communication, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting
Although school can be a very rewarding experience for preschoolers and school children alike, this time away from mom and/or dad can sometimes lead to feelings of disconnection and overwhelm. Much like adults have tough days and bad moods, children sometimes experience all sorts of ups and downs while away from school.  The disconnect from parents coupled with all that roller coaster ride of managing feelings  can bring on some challenging behaviors. Have you noticed your child is having some difficult afternoons, tough bed times, siblings squabbles, meltdowns and tantrums after school?  Making some effort to restore connection can not only prevent all that "misbehavior" but create more harmony in your home.  Here are 7 ways to stay connected & reconnect after a long day at school as a way to prevent after school meltdowns: Hugs: Little…
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6 Tips to Help a Child that is Afraid of Dogs

6 Tips to Help a Child that is Afraid of Dogs

Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Find out how you can use positive parenting tips to help your child overcome fear or anxiety related to dogs.  Some children are afraid of dogs. They may not have had a lot of positive experiences with dogs or perhaps had an incident which has made them fearful.  Being anxious around dogs is quite normal for children that don't have much experience. This is a protective behavior but one that you can help your child overcome. Helping children manage and overcome their fears related to dogs can sometimes be challenging. You may need to have some patience as your child learns to understand dogs and feel comfortable with a dog or puppy. Here are a 6 parenting tips to help a child overcome a fear or anxiety of dogs: 1. Accept the fear:…
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Giant List of Self-Care Skills for Babies,Toddlers and Preschoolers

Giant List of Self-Care Skills for Babies,Toddlers and Preschoolers

Babies 0-12 months, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Giving children a chance to practice self-care skills is a fantastic way to help them feel capable and increase their self-esteem. It helps create a great sense of autonomy, a drive to learn and grow. Self-care is also an opportunity for children to feel in charge of their body and know that they are trusted by their parents. Here is a list of Self-Care Skills for Children From Crawlers to 5 years sorted by Age: Self-Care Skills for Babies (crawlers) to 12 months Throw own bib in laundry hamper Clean face and hands with damp wash cloth (finish up with help) Stow own shoes away (with help/works well to have one assigned spot) Feed self a snack (cereal 0’s, cubed soft fruits etc…) Hold a spoon and toothbrush to imitate…
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Help! My Child Just Keeps Dawdling! 10 Positive Strategies To Get Children Moving

Help! My Child Just Keeps Dawdling! 10 Positive Strategies To Get Children Moving

Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Positive Discipline
The morning rush…getting dressed, teeth brushed, to find that back pack, or a favorite teddy.  Sometimes our children just start taking their sweet old time getting ready.  The clock starts ticking, and everyone feels the crunch…What’s a parent to do to get kids out the door on time without being a drill sergeant, without threats or constant nagging? Here are 10 Positive Strategies to Get Children To Stop Dawdling: Stay connected Rushing around shouting orders and nagging can frazzle and discourage a child. The possibility of having to separate from you for all or part of the day can certainly be a factor that could be slowing a child down as well. Build in enough time in the morning to find a moment to connect, even if it is brief.…
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Special Time Series: A list of 60 Activities To Do With Preschoolers and School Aged Children

Special Time Series: A list of 60 Activities To Do With Preschoolers and School Aged Children

Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
Making time in our busy lives for daily or weekly special time with our children is invaluable. Special time can be any activity where parent and child actively engage in play and conversation to build connection. Honoring this time together by putting away cellphones, turning off the tv and focusing on each other is what makes this time special. In part one of the Special Time Series there are 40 activity ideas for infants and toddles. Here are 60 Activitiy ideas for special time with Preschoolers and School Aged children. Pre-schoolers: 3-5 yrs A sure fire way to have successful special time with pre-schoolersis letting them choose the activity and lead the way. Telling mom or dad how to walk across a silly obstacle course or watching a parent get…
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