The Most Powerful And Punishment Free Way To Better Behavior

The Most Powerful And Punishment Free Way To Better Behavior

Alternatives to Punishment, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Positive Discipline, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Discipline that teaches your child's heart and mind at the same time. When my son was four years old, he was sweet, funny and quite mischievous. Just a moment unsupervised and something was likely to get opened, spilled or broken. Most days my son was content to play with his toys, in the garden or to make an art project. Other days, it seemed like he was set on pushing every boundary and breaking every rule. If you have a young and energetic child at home I'm sure you know what this is like. One time, I found him in the bathroom with several open containers of shampoo and soap. The shower doors completely white with suds. "Beau-full" art he told me very excited. Another time he cracked open magic…
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Positive Parenting: Better Behavior Without Punishment Is Possible

Positive Parenting: Better Behavior Without Punishment Is Possible

Alternatives to Punishment, Family Communication, Parenting, Positive Discipline
A few years ago, my 3 year old daughter ripped her brothers' picture. She did it on purpose and with the intent to get back at her brother. Many parents believe that such "acting out"  needs to be managed with swift discipline. A punishment like time out or some kind of consequence to teach a lesson. In the moments when I feel my buttons getting pushed, sometimes I fall into thinking about that too.  I've seen over the years with my children and working with so many families that such measures simply don't help children behave better. But there positive strategies that do. Instead of putting my daughter into time out, we did something else.  Control and disconnected consequences tend to make a child's behavior worse. Because children don't respond positively to…
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Your Child May Have The Best Solution For Unwanted Behavior

Your Child May Have The Best Solution For Unwanted Behavior

Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Positive Discipline, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
My then 3-year old son and I were at our favorite family camp one summer. My son loved to play in the woods – grabbing handfuls of red earth, and throwing them up in the air like fireworks. The beautiful color and sound filled him with joy as the dirt rained down over his head and body. I, on the other hand, felt no joy when he laid his dirt-filled head of hair onto the pillow that night. I told him that if he wanted to play in the dirt, that was fine, but he’d have to take a shower after so that we could get the dirt out of his hair. Seems like a very logical consequence, right? However, my son hated the shower. He screamed, cried, and hollered…
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How to Set Limits with Your Child (That Stick!) in 3 Easy Steps

How to Set Limits with Your Child (That Stick!) in 3 Easy Steps

Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Positive Discipline
I keep a notebook about each of my children in which I record major events, questions, and notes from parent-teacher conferences and other meetings. I happened to be thumbing through my daughter’s notebook while at a doctor visit last month, and a folded piece of paper fell out.   On it, I’d  described a challenging parenting situation that I wanted help with. At the time (10 years ago), I was taking a parenting class with my husband because we were both exasperated by our daughter’s behavior after her baby sister was born. Here’s the scenario . . . perhaps you’ve experienced something similar? It’s bath time, and my 4YO daughter is happily splashing around, diving underwater with her swim goggles on. Mom:  Time to get out of the tub.  You…
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Four Tips Backed By Positive Discipline That Will Make Your Kids Routine Charts Actually Work

Four Tips Backed By Positive Discipline That Will Make Your Kids Routine Charts Actually Work

Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Positive Discipline, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Tweens 10-12 years
Over the summer, my 9 year old daughter began having trouble falling asleep. "I just can't sleep!!" she whined (and she really meant it.) After several weeks of trying to talk her out of her insomnia, I decided a new bedtime routine was in order. We brainstormed the steps, and decided to include a short foot massage in the routine. We also brought back lullabies, which we hadn't sung in years. We wrote it down with colorful markers and I'll be darned if that new routine didn't do the trick. Why are routines, and more specifically routine charts one of the most effective tools you can find to reduce morning, bedtime and homework battles? Many reasons! First, when practiced regularly, routines become automatic. We no longer have to expend energy…
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One of The Most Wonderful Gifts You Can Give Your Child

One of The Most Wonderful Gifts You Can Give Your Child

Kids 5 - 12 years, Positive Discipline
One of the best gifts you can give your child this Holiday Season can't be found at a store. You can’t wrap it up, and they won’t be asking for it.  But they need it more than anything, and it doesn’t cost a dime. A child needs encouragement like a plant needs water. - Rudolf Dreikurs Think of someone in your life who was encouraging.  What did they do?  What did they say?  How did they see you? When I ask this question in parenting classes, the responses look something like this: they noticed my strengths they spent time with me they believed in me they loved me unconditionally they helped me learn new skills they really listened to me And yet, when our kids are messing up or misbehaving, it’s so easy to slip…
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Positive Discipline for Disruptive Classroom Behavior

Positive Discipline for Disruptive Classroom Behavior

Alternatives to Punishment, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Positive Discipline
Positive Discipline at Home & School for Turning Disruptive Behavior Around Do you have any suggestions for a child who may be seeking the attention of his classmates? He is being disruptive in class trying to get other children to pay attention to him. He is an only child and due to work, we don’t get many play dates with other children. He gets plenty of attention at home as well as time to play alone. At school he is constantly wanting someone to look at him or laugh at him or talk to him. Attention Seeking = Connection Seeking One guess is that your child really seeks connection with his classmates, but mistakenly thinks that attention is what he needs. Several strategies will help him, but realize that it may…
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The Real Reason Kids Misbehave Again and Again – And How to Stop It

The Real Reason Kids Misbehave Again and Again – And How to Stop It

Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Positive Discipline, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Why Children Misbehave And How To Help Them Do Better It was mid morning at playgroup and tension was rising between Theo, his mother and a phone. The phone was perfectly placed on the edge of a table. Peeking out just enough for tiny hands to want to reach up and touch. So Theo kept trying to do just that. Never mind the incessant don'ts from his mother ...They meant absolutely nothing to little Theo. Nothing! Testing his luck and his mom's patience with that glorious phone seemed like the one and only item on the morning's to do list. So shiny! So interesting! So irresistible! Each time Theo came close, his mom would nudge him to the side.  "Didn't you hear me? Don't touch! Or... we are going home. Is that what you want?…
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One Sure Way To Encourage Cooperation in Early Childhood

One Sure Way To Encourage Cooperation in Early Childhood

Family Communication, Parenting, Positive Discipline, Toddlers 12- 36 months
One very challenging task in the early years of parenting is finding ways to encourage cooperation and listening. Toddlers and pre-schoolers are notorious for saying "NO!" "I can't" and "I don't want to!" especially in moments when we would like to hear "yes mama!" and "OK" In the name of getting things done, it is so tempting to engage in demanding and nagging:  "Come on..." And even pleading "Will you please, just put your second shoe on sweet darling!" Of course there is the bribing and prize routes that often just leads to time outs and consequences....but toddlers and preschoolers don't really mean to be making trouble. Young children are curious by nature and even defiant by design! But this is a good thing, as it helps them grow into resilient, capable beings! Growing…
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3 Examples of Positive Parenting in Practice

3 Examples of Positive Parenting in Practice

Alternatives to Punishment, Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Positive Discipline
Positive Parenting tools can help you prevent power struggles and encourage your child to be cooperative. Do you like the idea of positive parenting but not sure how to put into practice in every day interactions?  Like  most families, in my home there are moments that are challenging. Sometimes downright difficult because what my children want, and I what I expect are not necessarily in sync. Sticking to a connection based approach to discipline, I am often able to defer  power struggles, nagging and meltdowns and restore peace - so here are three examples from my daily life with kids as I practice positive parenting: Power Struggle vs. Encouraging Capability #1 The Case of I don’t wanna One morning, my six year old kept asking when breakfast was going to be ready. He didn’t…
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