When your Child Says: I Hate You!

When your Child Says: I Hate You!

Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
The Most Helpful Parenting Response When a Child Says "I Hate You." When children feel disappointed, frustrated, angry or other difficult emotions, they may say hurtful words. Sometimes those words are  "I HATE YOU!" or "I hate you so much mom!" That small phrase packs quite the emotional punch - especially the very first time you hear it. Last summer, while on vacation, my four year old son asked for a toy at a store and I declined to buy it. My son's eyes squinted and his face tensed up as he said ever so clearly  "I hate you!" I had never heard such words from my son before and it was quite the surprise. The secret message behind your child's hurtful words "I hate you" is often code for something beyond…
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How to Discipline When A New Baby Arrives and Siblings Act Out

How to Discipline When A New Baby Arrives and Siblings Act Out

Babies 0-12 months, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
I'm having a very trying time with my three-year-old at the moment. He is a very bright, highly spirited and sensitive little boy. His baby brother was born just a month ago so I appreciate he has had a lot of change to deal with lately. But to be frank I am running out of ideas! He is very physical and often hurts me and the baby. I came under a lot of pressure from certain family members to take a firmer stand with him as they believed I was being too soft and rewarding bad behaviour. So reluctantly, I have started using time out even though it doesn't fit with my ethos and I know it is not particularly effective either. I am simply at the end of my…
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Three Tips For Getting Kids Ready and Out the Door Struggle Free

Three Tips For Getting Kids Ready and Out the Door Struggle Free

Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Tweens 10-12 years
Do mornings at your house look like a scene from a stressful Groundhog's day video?  The same level of stress, the same rushing, and the same power struggles with your children day in and day out?  If it does, you are not alone!  One of the biggest challenges modern families seems to face is getting everyone out the door in the morning.  Of course it is physically easy to accomplish, but the biggest complaint I hear from the families I work with is that it is a constant struggle and can feel combative.  So what can you do? Three Tips for Getting Kids To Feel Cooperative and Capable in the Morning 1. Create and Keep a Routine Your Kid Will Want to Follow  In order to simplify, start by creating…
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10 Helpful Strategies for Parenting Super High Energy Kids

10 Helpful Strategies for Parenting Super High Energy Kids

Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
Positive Parenting Tools For Helping Your High Energy Child Thrive My daughter is so loud at times. She has more energy than I can handle for sure.  Shared a mom recently in a parents group. Well, my son just cannot slow down! He is totally the annoying kid I swore I would never have!!! It's SO overwhelming. shared another mom. Only a few parents will openly say that they find their child very annoying and overwhelming. But the reality is that some children have very energetic personalities. Do you have a high energy, full of life, must touch everything and ask 1,000 questions a day, can't sit still, curious, spunky, type of child? Do you sometimes feel frustrated with all the energy your child has? If it's feels like a bit much to…
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Four Tips Backed By Positive Discipline That Will Make Your Kids Routine Charts Actually Work

Four Tips Backed By Positive Discipline That Will Make Your Kids Routine Charts Actually Work

Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Positive Discipline, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Tweens 10-12 years
Over the summer, my 9 year old daughter began having trouble falling asleep. "I just can't sleep!!" she whined (and she really meant it.) After several weeks of trying to talk her out of her insomnia, I decided a new bedtime routine was in order. We brainstormed the steps, and decided to include a short foot massage in the routine. We also brought back lullabies, which we hadn't sung in years. We wrote it down with colorful markers and I'll be darned if that new routine didn't do the trick. Why are routines, and more specifically routine charts one of the most effective tools you can find to reduce morning, bedtime and homework battles? Many reasons! First, when practiced regularly, routines become automatic. We no longer have to expend energy…
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Six Super Helpful Ways To Keep Calm and Deal With Defiance

Six Super Helpful Ways To Keep Calm and Deal With Defiance

Alternatives to Punishment, Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
These Six Positive Parenting strategies can help you respond to your child when they are behaving in defiant, disrespectful or unhelpful ways. Children often act out when they are lost, fearful and in need of guidance. A child that is being defiant needs to reconnect with you and find his way back to calm. And until you can step in and help, the acting out will continue. Not because your child is bad, but because your child is still learning and growing. That being said, it can be difficult to respond in a calm, confident way. Misbehavior can push parental buttons and ring alarm bells in our minds. A calm, helpful response even to the worst misbehavior helps children trust our guidance. The following parenting practices can help you respond in…
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How To Reduce Power Struggles and Find More Happiness In The Holiday Season

How To Reduce Power Struggles and Find More Happiness In The Holiday Season

Alternatives to Punishment, Family Communication, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
A store cashier asked my daughter recently, “Are you being a good girl for Santa?”  And then a few minutes later in the parking garage an elderly couple asked her same question. After a quick smile she turned to me.  Her face was all twisted up, eyes looking far away with a hint of overwhelm. The holiday season puts so much focus on children being good. Well-behaved. Picture Perfect. The Elves are reporting.  And Santa is checking his list... twice.  Having well behaved kids is a top priority for many families. And that this is one of the very reasons that many families experience an increase in power struggles and temper trantrums this time of year. Children are expected to be happy,  grateful, cheerful and just like those elves in the workshop, very, very helpful. Sharing…
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The Real Reason Kids Misbehave Again and Again – And How to Stop It

The Real Reason Kids Misbehave Again and Again – And How to Stop It

Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Positive Discipline, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Why Children Misbehave And How To Help Them Do Better It was mid morning at playgroup and tension was rising between Theo, his mother and a phone. The phone was perfectly placed on the edge of a table. Peeking out just enough for tiny hands to want to reach up and touch. So Theo kept trying to do just that. Never mind the incessant don'ts from his mother ...They meant absolutely nothing to little Theo. Nothing! Testing his luck and his mom's patience with that glorious phone seemed like the one and only item on the morning's to do list. So shiny! So interesting! So irresistible! Each time Theo came close, his mom would nudge him to the side.  "Didn't you hear me? Don't touch! Or... we are going home. Is that what you want?…
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40 Questions That Get Kids Talking

40 Questions That Get Kids Talking

Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
One great way to encourage children to open up is to make a habit of cherishing daily conversations with your child. Conversations build connection. When children feel connected to their parent, they are more likely to feel well and be cooperative. When we pause and listen, we can really get to know so much about our children. Sometimes our children don’t readily open up and share about their day. It can be frustrating when all you want is to talk to your child and you are met with a frown and heavy sighs...Ever felt like you don't know what to ask to get a child to open up? Most parents really do want to know about their child's thoughts, dreams and concerns.To raise resilient, happy children, It's important to listen to our…
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How I Helped My Son Understand His Misbehavior Without Relying on Punishments

How I Helped My Son Understand His Misbehavior Without Relying on Punishments

Alternatives to Punishment, Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
When my son was four,  I took him on a day trip to sled and play in the snow.  It was a beautiful cold yet sunny day.  Up on a mountain,  with the alps in the background we climbed up and sled down a hill some 25 times in a row. When I was a feeling cold and tired, I let my son know I would be sitting down for a break. Within seconds I felt a sharp,  freezing blow to my face. My eye hurt terribly. There was a strange mixture of cold and burning pain going on and I was totally dazed. As I processed what had happened,  I came to understand that my son had thrown a chunk of snow covered ice right into my face. Except he…
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