The Most Powerful And Punishment Free Way To Better Behavior

The Most Powerful And Punishment Free Way To Better Behavior

Alternatives to Punishment, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Positive Discipline, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Discipline that teaches your child's heart and mind at the same time. When my son was four years old, he was sweet, funny and quite mischievous. Just a moment unsupervised and something was likely to get opened, spilled or broken. Most days my son was content to play with his toys, in the garden or to make an art project. Other days, it seemed like he was set on pushing every boundary and breaking every rule. If you have a young and energetic child at home I'm sure you know what this is like. One time, I found him in the bathroom with several open containers of shampoo and soap. The shower doors completely white with suds. "Beau-full" art he told me very excited. Another time he cracked open magic…
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What To Do When Consequences Don’t Work

What To Do When Consequences Don’t Work

Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Three Parenting Strategies To Try when Consequences Stop Working and your Child is Misbehaving Does this scenario feel familiar? It’s getting close to the end of the day, and you are expecting your child to clean up toys, wash up, help set the table, get ready for bed and go to sleep. Only problem is, every step of the way includes ignored requests and power struggles. Toy clean up is not done. There is a fuss about dinner. Just getting into PJ's is a twenty minute orderdeal... With the best intentions to teach your child, you find yourself dishing out consequences. But the consequences only make things worse. Not better. Your child is upset and whiny "Why are you taking my toys away....moooooom! You are so mean!" You are thinking...this totally DESERVED…
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How To Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child

How To Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child

Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Emotionally intelligent children not only recognize and manage their own feelings, they are also able to understand emotional states of others. Emotional intelligence is also important for healthy development, especially in the early years. "In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and abilities to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships." --John Gottman,  Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child When children are able to recognize their own emotions, they are also more likely to be able to express what they need in order to keep their cool. For parents this is good news because it not only promotes healthy development it…
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Positive Parenting: What Really Helps Children During Tantrums

Positive Parenting: What Really Helps Children During Tantrums

Help By Age & Stage, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Children have tantrums. It's practically inevitable. Even if you set out to parent in a kind and connected way, tantrums can happen. They happen because tantrums are a sign of emotional overload. Tantrums are a request for loving guidance. Tantrums are emotional outbursts. During a tantrum a child may meltdown, cry and scream. Sometimes children also hit, kick, bite and bang things during a tantrum.  Tantrums happen when children are overwhelmed. Overwhelm can come from being scared, frustrated, tired, hungry, confused and uncomfortable. Children of all ages can have tantrums, but toddlers in particular are more likely to have tantrums. This happens because the toddler brain is still very immature and impulsive. It is not a sign that they are naughty, bad or spoiled. Tantrums don't have to rule the…
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Essentials for Parenting Stubborn and Determined Children

Essentials for Parenting Stubborn and Determined Children

Help By Age & Stage, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
At the dinner table, my two year old asked for water. I poured some into the glass that was at her place setting and she started protesting. The glass in front of her was not the purple fairy cup she wanted. She said “I don’t want that one…no no no…I not eating or drink until the fairy cup [is] on the table." While I think it’s wonderful that my daughter has an opinion and a wish for a different cup, dinner was already underway. I paused to think for a moment... Would you fetch a new cup to avoid a meltdown? Stand your ground and refuse to get a new cup? Is there an alternative to either giving in or standing your ground? Some parents may say that water is water…
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How To Stop Toddler Defiance with Positive Guidance

How To Stop Toddler Defiance with Positive Guidance

Alternatives to Punishment, Parenting, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Defiant toddlers are often mislabeled as having a behavior problem.  In most cases, toddler defiance is actually just a sign of healthy development. Toddlers that like to say NO and “put their foot down” are not only developing well, they are actively exploring their emotional intelligence. Positive guidance can help toddlers grow well and thrive.  Mauren Healy, author and expert on highly sensitive children says “The act of defiance is displaying an inordinately high level of emotional intelligence --- your children are actually listening to their inner wisdom.” Toddler defiance is usually age appropriate and at the same time very challenging. "Gena is constantly climbing on our garden rocks. No matter how much I say no, put her in time out or explain she is going to get hurt, the next day, I find…
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One Important Step To Take After Correcting Misbehavior

One Important Step To Take After Correcting Misbehavior

Kids 5 - 12 years, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Books went flying down to the ground. Screams filled the dining room. My heart skipped a beat as I quickly assessed the situation for injuries and damages. You know that feelings when you aren't so sure if all your kids are alright? Realizing that nobody was hurt I moved on to understanding what had happened. Two boys had just happened.  Two lively, energetic and playful boys had struck a bookshelf with a soccer ball knocking down books and shattering a flower vase. Our family rules are clear about balls. Outdoors or in the playroom, that's it. The books mixed with water, glass and droopy flowers all over the floor made it clear as to why we have that rule in the first place. Rules get broken when children are growing. Limits get…
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The Stress Free Picky Eating Solution You Will Love

The Stress Free Picky Eating Solution You Will Love

Babies 0-12 months, Nutrition, Parenting, Toddlers 12- 36 months
It's pretty normal for children to be selective about what they eat. Picky eating can be just a phase, especially in the toddler and preschool years.  Even if it's normal, picky eating can bring up worries, frustration and big power struggles. Here is the good news: There are ways for you to encourage healthy eating habits, without resorting to demands, struggles or bribes. None of that works in the long run anyways and usually leads to kids dreading meal times. Parents tell me they love this picky eating solution because it's simple, clear and actually something they can follow through. Following through with a solution is often the hardest part of solving parenting challenges right? So Here we go... If you want to feel calmer and more confident about meal times, this information from Elly's Satter, a…
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Six Super Helpful Ways To Keep Calm and Deal With Defiance

Six Super Helpful Ways To Keep Calm and Deal With Defiance

Alternatives to Punishment, Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
These Six Positive Parenting strategies can help you respond to your child when they are behaving in defiant, disrespectful or unhelpful ways. Children often act out when they are lost, fearful and in need of guidance. A child that is being defiant needs to reconnect with you and find his way back to calm. And until you can step in and help, the acting out will continue. Not because your child is bad, but because your child is still learning and growing. That being said, it can be difficult to respond in a calm, confident way. Misbehavior can push parental buttons and ring alarm bells in our minds. A calm, helpful response even to the worst misbehavior helps children trust our guidance. The following parenting practices can help you respond in…
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The Real Reason Kids Misbehave Again and Again – And How to Stop It

The Real Reason Kids Misbehave Again and Again – And How to Stop It

Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Positive Discipline, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Why Children Misbehave And How To Help Them Do Better It was mid morning at playgroup and tension was rising between Theo, his mother and a phone. The phone was perfectly placed on the edge of a table. Peeking out just enough for tiny hands to want to reach up and touch. So Theo kept trying to do just that. Never mind the incessant don'ts from his mother ...They meant absolutely nothing to little Theo. Nothing! Testing his luck and his mom's patience with that glorious phone seemed like the one and only item on the morning's to do list. So shiny! So interesting! So irresistible! Each time Theo came close, his mom would nudge him to the side.  "Didn't you hear me? Don't touch! Or... we are going home. Is that what you want?…
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