Avoid Power Struggles using this Problem Solving Script

Avoid Power Struggles using this Problem Solving Script

Family Communication, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Tweens 10-12 years
The bathroom is getting steamy. The water has been flowing for minutes, and your child is still fully clothed, refusing to budge. Every night it’s the same battle. You say that he needs to shower. He refuses to shower. A power struggle begins. Some nights, you try to wrestle him out of his clothes. Other nights you turn off the water and let him go to bed dirty. What does discipline look like when you and your child have conflicting opinions about what is important? Problem Solving Together The next morning, you pour two bowls of cereal and sit down with your child. “I’ve noticed that you HATE taking a shower!” you say with a light tone and a smile. “What’s up?” Glancing up from his cereal, he replies, “I…
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Three Tips For Getting Kids Ready and Out the Door Struggle Free

Three Tips For Getting Kids Ready and Out the Door Struggle Free

Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Tweens 10-12 years
Do mornings at your house look like a scene from a stressful Groundhog's day video?  The same level of stress, the same rushing, and the same power struggles with your children day in and day out?  If it does, you are not alone!  One of the biggest challenges modern families seems to face is getting everyone out the door in the morning.  Of course it is physically easy to accomplish, but the biggest complaint I hear from the families I work with is that it is a constant struggle and can feel combative.  So what can you do? Three Tips for Getting Kids To Feel Cooperative and Capable in the Morning 1. Create and Keep a Routine Your Kid Will Want to Follow  In order to simplify, start by creating…
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8 Proven Ways That Teach Children To Respect Safety Rules

8 Proven Ways That Teach Children To Respect Safety Rules

Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Tweens 10-12 years
Have you ever told your children not to hide in a clothing store, not to touch dangerous things, or not to run in the parking lot? Have you had to say it more than once, only to find that they repeat the same behavior three minutes later? Why is this happening? Prohibition (like saying DON'T) is the most popular disciplinary short-cut in teaching kids about safety. It's an automatic response to stop the unwanted behavior. On the other hand, prohibition by itself works only temporarily. It does not address the root causes of the unwanted behavior. Kids’ natural curiosity washes out your rules like a high tide. Here are 8 proven ways to teach children to follow safety rules Step 1: Strive to establish an "I'm good" mindset. You need…
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Four Tips Backed By Positive Discipline That Will Make Your Kids Routine Charts Actually Work

Four Tips Backed By Positive Discipline That Will Make Your Kids Routine Charts Actually Work

Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Positive Discipline, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Tweens 10-12 years
Over the summer, my 9 year old daughter began having trouble falling asleep. "I just can't sleep!!" she whined (and she really meant it.) After several weeks of trying to talk her out of her insomnia, I decided a new bedtime routine was in order. We brainstormed the steps, and decided to include a short foot massage in the routine. We also brought back lullabies, which we hadn't sung in years. We wrote it down with colorful markers and I'll be darned if that new routine didn't do the trick. Why are routines, and more specifically routine charts one of the most effective tools you can find to reduce morning, bedtime and homework battles? Many reasons! First, when practiced regularly, routines become automatic. We no longer have to expend energy…
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Help Your Child With After School Meltdowns

Help Your Child With After School Meltdowns

Alternatives to Punishment, Family Communication, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Tweens 10-12 years
After school meltdowns are quite normal for children from preschool to middle school. Here is what you need to know to handle these after school meltdowns and help your child feel better again. Children can experience quite the emotional ups and downs while away from you.  Maybe a  classmate didn’t want to share a toy,  an assignment felt just a bit more challenging than expected and recess was way to short.  Your child puts on a brave face, deals with it all and keeps on trekking through the day. Then...when they get home all those feelings they managed to hold on to just spill right out. Everything is Stupid, Annoying or Just not Right... Has your child ever come home from school and started complaining? Everything is stupid or the smallest little…
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How To Be An Encouraging Parent

How To Be An Encouraging Parent

Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Tweens 10-12 years
One of my favorite parenting tools, and one of the pillars of parenting with Positive Discipline, is encouragement. “Treat a man (or child) as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man (or child) as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.” - Steven R Covey Encouragement: Holding the Container To me, encouragement is holding space for others to discovery, explore and show up as their best versions of themselves. “Holding space” is the way that we show up in the relationship, how we sit, how we listen, how we respond. We are always “holding space” – just some of the time we are more intentional about it than others… I love what one of my class participants…
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Teaching Children Respect

Teaching Children Respect

Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Teens 13-18 Years, Tweens 10-12 years
"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them." - James Baldwin Children are mirrors; they reflect back to us everything we say and do. We now know that 95% of everything children learn, they learn from what is modeled for them. Only 5% of all they learn is from direct instruction. Human beings are like tape recorders. Every word we hear, everything we experience, is permanently recorded in our subconscious. Whenever adults speak, we are being role models for the children in our presence. What we speak is what we teach. Children record every word we ever say to them or in front of them. The language children grow up hearing is the language they will speak. We often…
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Ten Parenting Practices That Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Ten Parenting Practices That Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Positive Discipline, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months, Tweens 10-12 years
After jumping down from a  tree at the park my son stood up, did a little victory dance and then ran off to play on an obstacle course. It’s a pretty tricky course that requires balance, agility and coordination. It looked like it would take him a while to have it mastered. Sure enough my son struggled for a while. I saw him fall and get stuck many times but eventually he completed the course.Then he came running to tell me about his adventures. He was excited, recalling many details, like a rope that caught his shoe and a scary moment when he struggled to clip the safety.  But one thing he said stood out to me the most. “I almost fell down like a hundred times mom, and then I finally figured…
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How to Be a Confident Parent

How to Be a Confident Parent

Family Communication, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months, Tweens 10-12 years
Your son is on the floor, arms and legs flailing. Crying and screaming at the top of his lungs. He’s been like this for 10 minutes already. If you could read his mind in this moment, he might be thinking, “Mom! Please help me! I’m feeling so disappointed. I want to stop crying, but I don’t know how. Help!” Your daughter gets in the car after school. You can tell something’s not quite right, but she says  she doesn’t want to talk. If you could read her mind in this moment, she might be thinking: “I want to tell you, but I’m not sure you can handle it. Remember last time, you started crying? I need to protect you.” Your kids need you. But not just any “you.” They need…
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Positive Parenting Guidelines for Handling Sibling Rivalry

Positive Parenting Guidelines for Handling Sibling Rivalry

Family Communication, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting Solutions, Toddlers 12- 36 months, Tweens 10-12 years
“You are being mean!” said my son. His face filled with disappointment. “I’m never sharing my truck with you ever again.” He added, walking away with a deep sigh. I had been listening to my son and daughter. It was a small conflict, yet big feelings were involved.   They were struggling to play together. And, in this moment, they were not able to find any understanding or empathy for each other. Why do siblings fight? There are many reasons siblings may argue or fight. Here are some of the more common reasons: Children may feel love insecure (not because you don't love them)  Even when we strive to be loving and fair, children may struggle with sharing love. While we know our love to be boundless, young children are just…
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