The Most Powerful And Punishment Free Way To Better Behavior

The Most Powerful And Punishment Free Way To Better Behavior

Alternatives to Punishment, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Positive Discipline, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Discipline that teaches your child's heart and mind at the same time. When my son was four years old, he was sweet, funny and quite mischievous. Just a moment unsupervised and something was likely to get opened, spilled or broken. Most days my son was content to play with his toys, in the garden or to make an art project. Other days, it seemed like he was set on pushing every boundary and breaking every rule. If you have a young and energetic child at home I'm sure you know what this is like. One time, I found him in the bathroom with several open containers of shampoo and soap. The shower doors completely white with suds. "Beau-full" art he told me very excited. Another time he cracked open magic…
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What To Do When Consequences Don’t Work

What To Do When Consequences Don’t Work

Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Three Parenting Strategies To Try when Consequences Stop Working and your Child is Misbehaving Does this scenario feel familiar? It’s getting close to the end of the day, and you are expecting your child to clean up toys, wash up, help set the table, get ready for bed and go to sleep. Only problem is, every step of the way includes ignored requests and power struggles. Toy clean up is not done. There is a fuss about dinner. Just getting into PJ's is a twenty minute orderdeal... With the best intentions to teach your child, you find yourself dishing out consequences. But the consequences only make things worse. Not better. Your child is upset and whiny "Why are you taking my toys away....moooooom! You are so mean!" You are thinking...this totally DESERVED…
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Your Child May Have The Best Solution For Unwanted Behavior

Your Child May Have The Best Solution For Unwanted Behavior

Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Positive Discipline, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
My then 3-year old son and I were at our favorite family camp one summer. My son loved to play in the woods – grabbing handfuls of red earth, and throwing them up in the air like fireworks. The beautiful color and sound filled him with joy as the dirt rained down over his head and body. I, on the other hand, felt no joy when he laid his dirt-filled head of hair onto the pillow that night. I told him that if he wanted to play in the dirt, that was fine, but he’d have to take a shower after so that we could get the dirt out of his hair. Seems like a very logical consequence, right? However, my son hated the shower. He screamed, cried, and hollered…
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Avoid Power Struggles using this Problem Solving Script

Avoid Power Struggles using this Problem Solving Script

Family Communication, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Tweens 10-12 years
The bathroom is getting steamy. The water has been flowing for minutes, and your child is still fully clothed, refusing to budge. Every night it’s the same battle. You say that he needs to shower. He refuses to shower. A power struggle begins. Some nights, you try to wrestle him out of his clothes. Other nights you turn off the water and let him go to bed dirty. What does discipline look like when you and your child have conflicting opinions about what is important? Problem Solving Together The next morning, you pour two bowls of cereal and sit down with your child. “I’ve noticed that you HATE taking a shower!” you say with a light tone and a smile. “What’s up?” Glancing up from his cereal, he replies, “I…
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How to Set Limits with Your Child (That Stick!) in 3 Easy Steps

How to Set Limits with Your Child (That Stick!) in 3 Easy Steps

Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Positive Discipline
I keep a notebook about each of my children in which I record major events, questions, and notes from parent-teacher conferences and other meetings. I happened to be thumbing through my daughter’s notebook while at a doctor visit last month, and a folded piece of paper fell out.   On it, I’d  described a challenging parenting situation that I wanted help with. At the time (10 years ago), I was taking a parenting class with my husband because we were both exasperated by our daughter’s behavior after her baby sister was born. Here’s the scenario . . . perhaps you’ve experienced something similar? It’s bath time, and my 4YO daughter is happily splashing around, diving underwater with her swim goggles on. Mom:  Time to get out of the tub.  You…
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Four Tips Backed By Positive Discipline That Will Make Your Kids Routine Charts Actually Work

Four Tips Backed By Positive Discipline That Will Make Your Kids Routine Charts Actually Work

Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Positive Discipline, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Tweens 10-12 years
Over the summer, my 9 year old daughter began having trouble falling asleep. "I just can't sleep!!" she whined (and she really meant it.) After several weeks of trying to talk her out of her insomnia, I decided a new bedtime routine was in order. We brainstormed the steps, and decided to include a short foot massage in the routine. We also brought back lullabies, which we hadn't sung in years. We wrote it down with colorful markers and I'll be darned if that new routine didn't do the trick. Why are routines, and more specifically routine charts one of the most effective tools you can find to reduce morning, bedtime and homework battles? Many reasons! First, when practiced regularly, routines become automatic. We no longer have to expend energy…
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Why Positive Discipline is The Best Discipline for Your Baby

Why Positive Discipline is The Best Discipline for Your Baby

Alternatives to Punishment, Babies 0-12 months, Parenting
How To Discipline Your Baby In A Positive Way Responding positively to your baby teaches him to trust you and your guidance. While babies are growing they may do certain things, like spitting, hitting or kicking when upset, throwing food down from a high chair or taking a toy away from a playmate. These behaviors call for your clear, respectful guidance.  To discipline in a way that is effective and helpful to your growing baby (toddler) focus on teaching and guidance. Help your baby trust you and feel safe following your requests. A recent study at the University of Michigan has noted that spanking babies is a common, yet very misguided attempt at disciplining babies. Around 30 percent of one year old babies are being spanked at least once a month…
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Positive Discipline for Disruptive Classroom Behavior

Positive Discipline for Disruptive Classroom Behavior

Alternatives to Punishment, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Positive Discipline
Positive Discipline at Home & School for Turning Disruptive Behavior Around Do you have any suggestions for a child who may be seeking the attention of his classmates? He is being disruptive in class trying to get other children to pay attention to him. He is an only child and due to work, we don’t get many play dates with other children. He gets plenty of attention at home as well as time to play alone. At school he is constantly wanting someone to look at him or laugh at him or talk to him. Attention Seeking = Connection Seeking One guess is that your child really seeks connection with his classmates, but mistakenly thinks that attention is what he needs. Several strategies will help him, but realize that it may…
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The Real Reason Kids Misbehave Again and Again – And How to Stop It

The Real Reason Kids Misbehave Again and Again – And How to Stop It

Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Positive Discipline, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Why Children Misbehave And How To Help Them Do Better It was mid morning at playgroup and tension was rising between Theo, his mother and a phone. The phone was perfectly placed on the edge of a table. Peeking out just enough for tiny hands to want to reach up and touch. So Theo kept trying to do just that. Never mind the incessant don'ts from his mother ...They meant absolutely nothing to little Theo. Nothing! Testing his luck and his mom's patience with that glorious phone seemed like the one and only item on the morning's to do list. So shiny! So interesting! So irresistible! Each time Theo came close, his mom would nudge him to the side.  "Didn't you hear me? Don't touch! Or... we are going home. Is that what you want?…
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The Very Important Reason Children Need To Learn To Stand Up To Bullies

The Very Important Reason Children Need To Learn To Stand Up To Bullies

Family Communication, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting
At the playground on a sunny afternoon, my six year old son was waiting for a turn on the slide. Ahead of him was a little girl, no older than three, fiercely determined to get up all by herself. While she struggled a bit the other children waited patiently. Except for the last boy in line. After groaning and shouting out some mean words, that last boy got out of the line and shoved my son to the side. Then the boy started reaching and tugging at the little girls legs and calling her a "stinky baby." Stop that right now! I heard as I walked over. Stop. I want you to stop hurting her. My son stood calmly but confidently in place looking right at the boy. The other children…
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