Three Alternatives to Saying “Good Job”

Three Alternatives to Saying “Good Job”

Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage
**This post is from Kelly Bartlett** A lot of parenting research points to evidence that an abundance of praise is not entirely helpful for kids. As parents, we certainly mean well; our good job!s and nice work!s are meant to boost our kids’ self-esteem. So what exactly is the problem? The trouble lays in the unspoken words behind each good job—the unintended message that communicates, “You pleased me, and that’s good. That’s what you should be doing.” More than it celebrates, blanket praise imparts judgment and increases a child’s reliance on external validation. When really, we want to teach our kids to be internally validated for their own actions. To know—without being told—that what they did was good, was right, was what they should be doing. We want their motivation…
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Encouragement: Building Block #3 for Positive Parenting

Encouragement: Building Block #3 for Positive Parenting

Help By Age & Stage, Parenting
Welcome to the Beyond Discipline: 10 Building Blocks for Positive Parenting Series. This is the 3rd post in a series of 10 on the Building Blocks for positive parenting. Building Block #3 Encouragement Encouragement is all about trusting our children, having faith in them and being a positive presence that radiates genuine interest and warmth. When we parent with the intent to be encouraging, we don’t focus on evaluating their steps as “good” or “bad” but rather we seek to help them find their own way, to feel capable and interested in learning, achieving, doing and discovering. By choosing to be an encouraging parent, we choose to believe that children have intrinsic motivation, a natural inborn wish to learn and be cooperative. Children make mistakes, and their behavior often needs guidance…
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