How To Stop Toddler Defiance with Positive Guidance

How To Stop Toddler Defiance with Positive Guidance

Alternatives to Punishment, Parenting, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Defiant toddlers are often mislabeled as having a behavior problem.  In most cases, toddler defiance is actually just a sign of healthy development. Toddlers that like to say NO and “put their foot down” are not only developing well, they are actively exploring their emotional intelligence. Positive guidance can help toddlers grow well and thrive.  Mauren Healy, author and expert on highly sensitive children says “The act of defiance is displaying an inordinately high level of emotional intelligence --- your children are actually listening to their inner wisdom.” Toddler defiance is usually age appropriate and at the same time very challenging. "Gena is constantly climbing on our garden rocks. No matter how much I say no, put her in time out or explain she is going to get hurt, the next day, I find…
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Children Are Wired For Empathy And Insisting On Apologies Is Not Nescessary

Children Are Wired For Empathy And Insisting On Apologies Is Not Nescessary

Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
Knowing how to make amends is a very valuable life skill.  As children grow they have many opportunities to apologize and make amends. While we would like children to know how to say "I am sorry", often children will apologize in their own way. Wired for Empathy Children are born with the capacity for empathy, understanding and love.  It is how to navigate social norms and how to meet  parental expectations surrounding apologies that isn’t always clear. I am Sorry  These are important words we wish for our children to learn to use but teaching children to say sorry and really mean it is not so much about insisting on specific words. Feelings of remorse and a genuine willingness to make amends is much more than just repeating words. In fact, insisting on an…
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What you Don’t Want to Say to Stop Unwanted Behaviors

What you Don’t Want to Say to Stop Unwanted Behaviors

Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
How often do you use the word ‘don’t’ to stop unwanted behaviour in your children? Does it actually work? Most parents say it does not. When I first became aware of the little impact this word has, it threw me. I had no idea how often I was using it, and how often it left me feeling more frustrated and annoyed. The awareness of this word can have a huge impact on the words you choose to guide and teach (discipline) your child. It is fascinating to notice your go-to words in parenting. It was out of my need to actively avoid this word and my own struggles to come up with solutions that inspired me to share with you some alternatives to saying Don't all the time. Don't. It's…
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A Positive Parent’s Guide to Introducing a New Baby to Your Toddler

A Positive Parent’s Guide to Introducing a New Baby to Your Toddler

Babies 0-12 months, Toddlers 12- 36 months
It’s something you’ve been looking forward to with a lot of excitement. And yes, an equal amount of anxiety. Introducing your new baby to your toddler. You know from experience that the first few months of having a baby are the hardest. And yet,  you are committed to not neglect your older child in the process and do your best to help him fall in love with the little one. But, you have concerns... How to balance the demands on your time to ensure that you can fill your older child’s bucket with attention while attending to the needs of the newborn? How to ensure that your own weariness does not seep into the tentative relationship that is budding between your little angels? What can you do to tip the…
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Parenting: What Triggers your Anger?

Parenting: What Triggers your Anger?

Family Communication, Parenting
Written by Elizabeth Pantley Family life is complicated and unpredictable. Day-to-day expectations and responsibilities can create angry emotions in both parents and children. No matter how skilled you are at parenting, no matter how wonderful your children are, you cannot eliminate or avoid the unpleasant situations that occur in all families. However, once you understand where the anger comes from you can modify the situation and learn ways to control your reactions, so that anger can occupy a smaller place in your home. Our children bring us incredible joy. Yet, there are times that they can bring out the anger in us. It is helpful to identify the things that provoke your anger so you can make positive changes in your household.  What sets you off? Most parents get angry…
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Toddlers: Competent & Capable As They Grow

Toddlers: Competent & Capable As They Grow

Help By Age & Stage, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Our children are capable, competent beings from birth. Often the struggles we find ourselves caught in with our children can be eased by recognizing and honoring their age appropriate capabilities. And with their capable, competent selves appreciated and affirmed, we can now build a strong foundation for the future independent and successful adult we all hope for. This continuing series at Positive Parenting Connection will be covering the different ages & stages from Babies on up, bringing you great information about each phase of childhood. Part one was about Babies. Part II:  Toddlers! Oh what an astounding age. If we are slow on the uptake of increasing their opportunities to show how in charge and capable they can be, they will remind us. Over and over and over again until we get it right. The key? Including…
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Positive Parenting: Do You See Your Wonderful Child?

Positive Parenting: Do You See Your Wonderful Child?

Family Communication, Parenting
Sometimes we get caught up with all the things we believe our children have to do, know and understand. We focus so much on how to change behaviors and control emotions. We have huge expectations, not just of our children but of ourselves. We want magical formulas or the best way to get children to do what we think they should do. In all that, sometimes we miss just how wonderful our children really are, right there, in that moment. Moments we can never take back. Do you ever get caught up with expectations, have to’s and should’s for your child? Do you worry that your child is not something you thought they would be or should be? "You are so full of happy mama!" said my three year old the…
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Mama, Please Wait!

Mama, Please Wait!

Help By Age & Stage, Parenting
  Sometimes we get caught up in complaining that our children are not responding to us when we would like them to. We think they are dawdling, or taking their “sweet time,” or “dragging their feet” or just being “selfish." Here’s the thing though, how long does it take for us to respond to a request from our children? I know sometimes I am caught up with a sibling or cooking, reading a book or checking something on the computer and my child would like to play a game, read a book, go to the park or make a craft. Sometimes I ask my children to wait a minute or two so I can finish up a task or tend to a sibling's need that came first. Do you ever…
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The Power of Touch: How Physical Affection Helps with Discipline

The Power of Touch: How Physical Affection Helps with Discipline

Parenting, Positive Discipline
Written By Kelly Bartlett A group of fifteen moms and dads were gathering for their weekly parenting class, when one mother shares a moment from the previous week. “My daughter had a fit the other day when I told her it was time to get in the car.” Every head in the room nods in recognition and understanding. Another dad commiserates, “My son once threw Legos at the TV because I said he couldn’t watch TV!” These types of exchanges are shared by the most well meaning parents; despite even the most positive parenting efforts, kids get mad! Their immature brains do not have the capability to remain calm while working through challenging feelings. Author of the Positive Discipline series, Dr. Jane Nelsen educates parents on non-punitive discipline strategies, many…
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Guiding Curious Preschoolers with Playful Parenting

Guiding Curious Preschoolers with Playful Parenting

Alternatives to Punishment, Help By Age & Stage, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
Our children often need us and the message of love at times when it seems like they least deserve it! My four year-old loves to investigate things. This means he is very happy to spill stuff, open cupboards, and search the house for anything he wants to learn about. This also means that sometimes he makes decisions that are a bit perplexing like spilling glue all over the table to see what it feels like or breaking a marker and running water to “catch the colors”. Sometimes people ask me how it is that I don’t totally lose my cool when I discover another one of his messes or undertakings. The thing is, knowing him, I don’t just expect these messes, I try to support them. I know how much…
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