If Not Punishment, Then What? Three Ideas That Work.

If Not Punishment, Then What? Three Ideas That Work.

Alternatives to Punishment, Parenting, Positive Discipline
What kind of discipline works for a child when they are misbehaving? When children  make a mistake, mess up, break things or say something obscene it might be difficult to decide to how address the situation.  Children really do benefit from having discipline and guidance, but children actually don't learn from pain or shame.  When children misbehave children need parents that are willing to help them find their way back to more positive behaviors. So, what kind of discipline do children need? What kind of discipline helps a child behave well and thrive? Positive Discipline Helps Children Thrive Discipline that teaches and helps a child feel capable and responsible is what really helps a child change unhelpful behaviors into positive choices. With a positive approach to parenting, punishments do not need to be…
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Discipline: Teaching Through Love Instead of Fear

Discipline: Teaching Through Love Instead of Fear

Family Communication, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting
"However we treat the child, the child will treat the world." - Pam Leo Can you imagine threatening your partner or good friend by counting "One... two... three..." if he or she did not do what you wanted? One of the big issues in schools today is "bullying." Parents and teachers struggle daily with how to stop this behavior. Without realizing it, adults teach bullying behavior to children by modeling it when they use the threat of their physical size or power to make children do things. When I hear a parent counting "One... two" at a young child, I always wonder what the child has been told will happen if the parent gets to three. Is it the threat of a spanking, being yelled at, time out, abandonment (I'm…
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4 Mindfulness Practices to Move from Surviving to Thriving in Parenting

4 Mindfulness Practices to Move from Surviving to Thriving in Parenting

Parenting Solutions, Tweens 10-12 years
Mindfulness is a sure way to flourish. It can be described as being fully aware of the present moment. The dictionary tells us it is ‘the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something’. Keeping it nice and simple, mindfulness is our ability to notice what is happening within us and around us, without judgement. Mindfulness helps us to not jump forward into the future with the worry of ‘what if’ or constantly lament or revisit the past with ‘but why?’. It helps us to find steadiness in the right here and now, to be “fully present, aware and awake”. With mindfulness you can bring more ease into the smallest of jobs like doing the dishes or a bigger challenge like handling a tantrum (yours or your child’s).…
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20 Ways To Really See the World Through Your Child’s Eyes

20 Ways To Really See the World Through Your Child’s Eyes

Kids 5 - 12 years, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
How to Mindfully Recharge your Parental Empathy Bank Parenting has the potential to deplete us of all energy and form, leaving us feeling fatigued, confused, frustrated and overwhelmed. There are days when parenting can deplete us so profoundly that it becomes exceedingly difficult to see past our immediate day to day needs. During times like this, it is possible to instantly shift perspective by looking at the world through your child’s eyes. By doing this you can allow yourself a refreshing new glimpse of the world, you can create those heart to heart moments that nurture empathy and acceptance, bringing a little zest into your step and a bit of zing into your heart. 20 Mindfulness Practices….To see the world through your child’s eyes… 1. Smile fully and deeply with…
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Rivalry to Harmony: Promoting Peace Among Siblings (Part 1)

Rivalry to Harmony: Promoting Peace Among Siblings (Part 1)

Family Communication, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
Sharing, holding hands, helping tie shoes, siblings can share a lifelong bond of trust, love and friendship. They can also have many fights, brawls and squabbles. Recent studies on sibling relationships seem to show a pattern relating to sibling relationships and parental affection, attachment and attention. Children that reported having to fight for parental attention and being forced to share belongings were generally unhappier later in life than those who have maintained a strong bond to their parents and siblings throughout childhood and early adulthood. Those children who felt their needs were attended to by parents early in life and in the teenage years, report more happiness later in life than children without siblings. So if having siblings can actually be good for overall happiness how can parents create an atmosphere that…
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Nurturing Encouragement

Nurturing Encouragement

Parenting
Being an encouraging presence and supporter to children is one of the most rewarding roles we play in life!   Encouragement plays an important role in raising children.  It gives our children wings as well as helping us as parents to model the many character strengths of trust, patience, persistence, optimism and so many more… Parenting with encouragement is about: nurturing self belief preserving positive self image helping children  to see that all things are possible trusting in our children and supporting deeply so they can TRUST THEMSELVES I remember when my son was 3 Years old we went to the park and he watched an older child effortlessly cross the bars.  I saw a spark in his eyes and he reached up to the bars to have a go. …
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One Word To Boost Your Child’s Confidence

One Word To Boost Your Child’s Confidence

Help By Age & Stage
Often, what holds children back from trying something new is fear of failure or the memory of a time they didn't do well on something. We can help break that cycle by avoiding evaluative statements such as "good job" and opt to use encouraging words instead and offering our children opportunities to try things again...and again...and again! "I can't do it!" said my 3 year old daughter as she struggled with her t-shirt. "Yet - you haven't figured it out just yet. I saw you trying." was my answer. "Would you like more time to work on that?" "Yes!" My daughter tried again and struggled again. She poked her arms through the neckline, she took her shirt off again and sat there, looking at me in her swim suit and…
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Parents Can Always Choose an Alternative to Spanking

Parenting
April 30th is National Spank Out Day.  Since this site is dedicated to providing positive, peaceful, playful and non punitive  information for families to grow together and thrive today I'm sharing some thoughts on why Spanking does not need to be a parenting tool. The true aim of parental discipline is to teach and guide a child and show them what is right and what is wrong.  When we hurt our children by spanking them, we are not modeling positive ways to handle challenges or difficult emotions. No matter the situation, I believe as parents we can always choose an alternative to spanking. Although most parents will reach a point of exasperation, feel at a loss of what to do, or simply follow what they experienced as a child, there truly…
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Nurturing Peacefulness #2

Nurturing Peacefulness #2

Family Communication
This post is Part 2 of the Nurturing Peacefulness Series from Kerry Spina. Today she is sharing all about creating a parenting peace motto, peaceful activities and building a peaceful space at home plus really lovely questions to bring more mindfulness and peace to your daily life. A Parenting Peace Motto A parent motto is fun and strengthening. Having a motto is a great way to ‘check in’ at times when you feel you could lose your cool…or have already lost your cool. Here are a few ideas: “This to will pass” “I live and give the best of who I am” “I can choose peace rather than this” “I am peace”  “Lighten up and peace up”  “I am a peacemaker”  “Peace begins with me” “Peace in and Peace out” “In…
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Nurturing Peacefulness

Nurturing Peacefulness

Parenting
I'm excited to be adding Kerry Spina as a contributor to the Positive Parenting Connection. Over the next weeks she will be sharing her wisdom on Nurturing Peacefulness at home. This week she is sharing how peace begins within us and how peace brings us balance. Next week, she will share ideas for creating a parenting peace motto, peaceful activities and building a peaceful space at home. In what ways are you trying to bring more peacefulness into your home & family life? I am a peacemaker in the world. “It isn't enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn't enough to believe in it. One must work at it.” Eleanor Roosevelt Just the word ‘stress’ can make our heart pound, thoughts run wild and…
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