Why Preschoolers Know Much Better Than They Behave

Why Preschoolers Know Much Better Than They Behave

Alternatives to Punishment, Parenting, Parenting Solutions, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
Parents are routinely confused when their preschooler (aged 2 to 5) promises they won’t hit or scream only to turn around and hit or scream again. Part of the problem is young children don’t think twice nor contemplate the consequences of their actions in the heat of the moment. I can assure you this is not part of a secret plot to drive parents crazy and it isn’t personal either. Preschoolers know much better than they can behave and are impulsive by design. The parts of the brain responsible for self-control are still under development in young children. The brain is only 20% developed at birth and will ideally become more integrated in the first 6 years of life. In other words, the brain is still forming connections that will…
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40 Questions That Get Kids Talking

40 Questions That Get Kids Talking

Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
One great way to encourage children to open up is to make a habit of cherishing daily conversations with your child. Conversations build connection. When children feel connected to their parent, they are more likely to feel well and be cooperative. When we pause and listen, we can really get to know so much about our children. Sometimes our children don’t readily open up and share about their day. It can be frustrating when all you want is to talk to your child and you are met with a frown and heavy sighs...Ever felt like you don't know what to ask to get a child to open up? Most parents really do want to know about their child's thoughts, dreams and concerns.To raise resilient, happy children, It's important to listen to our…
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One Sure Way To Encourage Cooperation in Early Childhood

One Sure Way To Encourage Cooperation in Early Childhood

Family Communication, Parenting, Positive Discipline, Toddlers 12- 36 months
One very challenging task in the early years of parenting is finding ways to encourage cooperation and listening. Toddlers and pre-schoolers are notorious for saying "NO!" "I can't" and "I don't want to!" especially in moments when we would like to hear "yes mama!" and "OK" In the name of getting things done, it is so tempting to engage in demanding and nagging:  "Come on..." And even pleading "Will you please, just put your second shoe on sweet darling!" Of course there is the bribing and prize routes that often just leads to time outs and consequences....but toddlers and preschoolers don't really mean to be making trouble. Young children are curious by nature and even defiant by design! But this is a good thing, as it helps them grow into resilient, capable beings! Growing…
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Seven Essential Steps to Help Your Child Manage Unhelpful Habits Like Chewing, Nail Biting and Nose Picking

Seven Essential Steps to Help Your Child Manage Unhelpful Habits Like Chewing, Nail Biting and Nose Picking

Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
  Does your child fidget with everything, chew on their shirt sleeves, bite their nails, make noises with their mouth? It is challenging to know how to address these problems without making your child feel embarrassed or defensive about their behavior. My daughter is a chewer. She chews on everything -- shirt sleeves, blankets, markers, even her hair. At times, I’ve felt like I was constantly nagging and reminding her to stop chewing. Instead of being motivating and helpful, my “reminders” were causing friction between us. She started trying to hide her chewing to avoid my nagging. I would notice wet spot on her clothes or toys and begin to feel frustrated. We needed a better plan. Here are Seven Steps to Help Your Child Manage Unhelpful Habits such as Nose…
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Two Ways To Use Playful Parenting To Set Limits and Encourage Cooperation

Two Ways To Use Playful Parenting To Set Limits and Encourage Cooperation

Kids 5 - 12 years, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
Playfully engaging with children, especially in matters of discipline and parenting is sometimes mistaken as being permissive.  But, playful parenting most often leads to more cooperation and listening. It is possible to be playful and set meaningful parenting limits. Playful Parenting means joining children in their world of play, focusing on connection and confidence. -Lawrence Cohen, author of Playful Parenting. Playfully connecting with a child fuels cooperation and a child's sense of capability. You can also use playfulness with your child to: reduce power struggles help a child accomplish a task with enthusiasm acknowledge and overcome fears and worries encourage children to be onboard with doing chores help siblings get along avoid tantrums and meltdowns set limits that are kind and clear Here are two examples of using playful parenting that invite children to…
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Letting Children Learn

Letting Children Learn

Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
The other day, my daughter found a container perched on a shelf. It was new to her, she had never seen it. "This new mama? Can I look at it?" She asked with a big curious grin. "Oh yeah, I bought it this morning." I answered.  I was going to tell her more but I stopped myself. My daughter's desire to really know what this was, was  evident in the way she was staring and reaching on her tippy- toes. Anyways, before I could respond, she had taken off to another room, returning with a stool in her hands. "I can reach for it with the stool. Look mama, I reached it!" she said with enthusiasm. "Yes, you were able to get it. And now?" I asked. "I want to smell…
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Independent Play: Using Play Invitations To Encourage Imagination and Learning

Independent Play: Using Play Invitations To Encourage Imagination and Learning

Play and Learning, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months
Independent play helps children feel confident, builds a sense of capability, concentration skills and creates many opportunities for discovery and learning. While children do not need intricate and overly elaborate toys or play opportunities to develop well, offering diverse play materials and new opportunities is a great way to help children enjoy their independent playtime. This is also a fantastic way to rotate toys that have been a bit forgotten and introduce new materials. So, a play invitation is simply setting out a specific play activity or a few toys on a surface that is easily accessible to the child, such as a small table or a blanket on the ground. Whatever toy or activity it is, it should be something the children can: Play without assistance and low supervision…
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Preschoolers: Competent & Capable as They Discover

Preschoolers: Competent & Capable as They Discover

Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
Our children are capable, competent beings from birth. Often the struggles we find ourselves caught in with our children can be eased by recognizing and honoring their age appropriate capabilities. And with their capable, competent selves appreciated and affirmed, we can now build a strong foundation for the future independent and successful adult we all hope for. This continuing series at Positive Parenting Connection will be covering the different ages & stages from Babies on up, bringing you great information about each phase of childhood. Part one was about Babies, Part two Toddlers. This is part three: Preschoolers Threes, fours, and fives—wow. The growth in these years is astounding and due to this we are often caught trying to catch up with just how capable and competent they are. Preschoolers can: • Use their imagination and…
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Positive Parenting: Do You See Your Wonderful Child?

Positive Parenting: Do You See Your Wonderful Child?

Family Communication, Parenting
Sometimes we get caught up with all the things we believe our children have to do, know and understand. We focus so much on how to change behaviors and control emotions. We have huge expectations, not just of our children but of ourselves. We want magical formulas or the best way to get children to do what we think they should do. In all that, sometimes we miss just how wonderful our children really are, right there, in that moment. Moments we can never take back. Do you ever get caught up with expectations, have to’s and should’s for your child? Do you worry that your child is not something you thought they would be or should be? "You are so full of happy mama!" said my three year old the…
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What Should Your 3 Year Old Know? A Development List.

What Should Your 3 Year Old Know? A Development List.

Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs
I am sure many parents have searched this topic before, what should my child know at age _fill in blank__? As a parent, you want to be reassured that they are on track and ticking off the necessary developments of childhood. How high should a 3-4 year old count to? There is no absolute answer; every child develops at a different pace. Every child has a different learning style and has different parents, careers and lifestyle factors to consider. How high can your child count and does it matter? After careful consideration of this question I felt the answer was, I don’t care and no it doesn’t matter. I wish not to compare Dimples to averages of his age because he is anything but average. He is unique and I…
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